Not perfect..but better

In the Summer of 2017, I sat in my empty cabin in the forest...prayerful and slightly saddened.  I thought I had found love...I thought it was what I needed...but that week, I realized it wasn't.   In my heart I needed more.  What was different this time was that I wasn't angry at God for leading me away, upset that it wasn't in my plans, or even claiming it as punishment.  I was finally ready to accept my loneliness, single motherhood and plenty of pets as my calling.  I kept it imbedded into my heart and cried my last sadness of never finding my Boaz and that I was difficult to love.  During this change I leaned on God more; more faithfully and prayerfully.  I followed Him in obedience.  There were small falls but when I got up, I stood tall and firm in God's presence.   Then there he was....amongst my own crushed expectations...God presented something so imperfectly made but so much better than I expected!  I wasn't ready for love...I didn't want it because of all the heartaches.  But it felt right...and that he loved me for all my imperfections...messiness...and craziness.  He loves God as much as I do, charitable, & loves the girls because He knows his love is God's love.  I have been broken but not bitter and crushed but not hopeless.  I can say my wait and obedience has been worth every crushed expectation for the better...that has been led me to the perfect imperfection.