My Escape

During the winter in Cali, I find myself daydreaming of the nights I would walk in the cold with a cup of Chai tea latte.  Oh, it feels like Christmas joy in my stomach by this warm spiced beverage.  The beanie upon my head, a scarf around my neck, and my rosy cheeks from the unfamiliar cold in Cali, meet the Venice Canals.  For years, I have walked these canals to allow my brain to decompress after stressful days as a single woman.   It became my solitude and my escape after my divorce.  I loved the walks on colder and rainy days.   The cool breeze against my face, the lights lightly skimming the dark canal streams,  and silently the ducks paddling back home with ducklings trailing behind, as I watch quietly underneath the shadow of my umbrella. Now these days, I look at old photos and I don't find the same peace any longer.  Maybe the years of aging, the lonesome 8 years of solitude and single parenting, but it no longer brings me relief but it gives my mind to wander into areas I have supressed after high school.  For some, those are very long years, but for me it was like yesterday.  The many writing projects of poetry on bus rides home from college, short stories, and novel ideas prance and surge through my mind, eletrcially charging the sleeping monster of creativity.  That is only half of the moment of self discovery.  At my age now, I seek a companion to share my joys of walking through this bliss of my life-hand in hand, laughing at my comic sarcasm and off-tuned singing sometimes, as well as just gazing over this same bridge, thankful of each moment of one another's presence.  To be finally joined by the thought of finally realizing growing old together and enjoying our grandchildren.  The escape is never leaving behind anything bad or horrific but realizing one's self worth and self discovery.  One simple view can lead you to the deeper realm of your soul of discovering beauty and talents that have been hibernating.