Let go for better moments

At the end of my shift each day, I find myself daydreaming and really reminiscing on my work, motherhood, as well as life.  These past few years, there has been many things that I have held onto, stored up in my attic that required me to take a good look at them to see if they were worth keeping.  Life as a single parent is no longer just being single and taking care of yourself.  It requires now the heart and mind of taking care of the ones that have been required to take this journey alongside you.  This year, I decided to ride alongside God and be obedient.  This meant taking time for myself and really sorting out my feelings of what I want in life.  My attic was full as you can tell.  The door remained locked as I accumulated miscellaneous items that not only overfilled my attic but it cluttered by hallway into the basement.  I wandered into the halls of my 9 year old's school and I stared at this door for a few minutes...it stared back at me.  Not only was my basement overfilled, but in the time of waiting, so was my basement.  When was the last time I looked into my heart and allowed God to mend it, heal it, and wash it clean of any self doubts that I may have?  God has been the center of my life in all my greatness, loves, as well as my family.  He is my foundation and I haven't taken the time to secure that foundation.  In order to love, I needed His love and His love was the building foundation of everything.  So I set in last year, cleaning out my basement of hidden items in the dark, ashamed of what was in it.  Like any part of the house, I wanted my foundation firm and steady, and my basement clutter free.  I dusted the cobwebs of hurt, sadness, and self doubt and leaned into God with prayer...giving thanks for everything good or bad that I felt.  This year, I wanted to clear things that were in the attic: my mind.  My mind and heart were reconnecting...finding wisdom, letting go of things that were no longer good for me, and finally realizing my worth.  Slowly, I dissecting my heart and my mind...clearing the cobwebs, putting up new shades of color to the walls, and really letting the sun in; this is contentment.  So sometimes, even if it hurts, we have to let go for better moments and trust; better moments as a parent, as friend, and maybe among the vast errors of things, love will find you at the right time.  The building blocks of life is to sometimes let go finally of the things that would cause harm to your foundation, shaking up your home, and during a shake of any kind, collapse it in one swift blow.  Secure your foundation as the time goes by to make sure that at the end of the collapse, you still have a firm foundation to rebuild anything without worry.  Cleaning house is never easy but eventually you will be glad of all your hard work because behind all those cobwebs and dust, there is a beautiful new begin and better moments.